it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
