So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
