The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
