that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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