you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
