I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
