She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
