Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
