Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
What happened to fro yo and sex?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
