So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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