It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
