Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We left an ass print on the piano.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
