nut hugger
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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