That's intense
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
