I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
