I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
