I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize