Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
