Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
