he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
