I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
