Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
