Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
