ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I cut my penus on the lid.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
