when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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