I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
