how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
