if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
