i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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