We named our party play list daddy issues
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
