One girl and one boy is just not enough.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize