I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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