Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
