Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
