How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
