omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
