I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
