If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
