The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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