she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
