WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
