You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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