He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
