why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
