Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
