Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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