Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
