Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
