census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
