after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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