Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
