Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
