somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
His nipple licking is glorious
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