You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize