Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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