please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
