Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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