some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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