It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
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