How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
